Abuse is funny thing. It seems that person abused continues to get abused even after the actual event or events have taken place. It seems to me that when the abused has enough courage to reveal the horror of what happened to him/her, is it assumed that the abused is lying and that the abuser is innocent. (Now I know there is a fraction, a much publicized sliver of folks who falsely accuse, who actually have created the situation for the rest of us. But I would venture to guess those that falsely accuse have some issue that they are seeking justice for, they just couldn’t get the right message through.) Other than the few previously mentioned, What does the abused have to gain by letting the “cat out of the bag?” Peace of mind. Which is something MasterCard and VISA cannot even come close to- though they market to those who are trying to find it. And that is a lot of us. I recall a bumper sticker that reads: “If you want Peace, work for Justice.” Well, I am not so sure about justice, but I need peace of mind. I didn’t make everything up. It isn’t all in my head. But I have no one’s testimony but my own. And I have plenty to argue against me, and have been. But I am grateful for the analogy the Lord has given me. If you have ever watched a boat go by, there is a wake in the water that follows it. A wake that travels longer and wider than the boat itself. If you missed the boat going by, but see the wake, you know that the boat has been by even though you missed that actual watercraft. The evidence of the wake proves the presence of the boat. That is how it is with me. No one saw any boats go by. But the wake of the sexual abuses that I have experienced is still rippling in the water to this day. So my conscious mind takes that as proof. The mind is a powerful thing. As is the body. Or more specifically, body memory. If the world denies the abuse that the body and mind, conscious or subconscious, knows occurred, there is further abuse and the abused is further traumatized. So where is the justice and where is the peace? Not so sure about the justice for me at this point as I cannot afford any court battles, but I am looking for peace of mind. I would venture to guess that those that don’t find it don’t stay on this earth for long. It is too painful. Where’s the justice there? But maybe they have peace. The God I know is merciful and Just. So I have to continue to trust that justice will eventually be done. His Justice. His Perfect Justice. Which also brings His Peace. Success.
So many hurting people out there. And only a few talking- verbally anyway. But I think the pain speaks volumes in our physical body. I am thanking God for the healing that I have had and all the different things that I have felt and the skills of observation and knowledge that I feel He has blessed me with that is now helping the “Silent Islands” I am meeting every single week. Abused, defeated, self-punishing creations that need our Message of Hope. It is a tough journey though, but well worth it. Uncovering all the lies that are causing sickness and pain leads to freedom and healing. I am praying the hurting souls will open their mouths and discover they are not the only one out there in the ocean of life. Each island is less that an arms length away. Imagine the land mass if we all could muster the strength to look up and reach out.
God has an amazing ability to speak to me in just the language I understand. I know our WeightLoss program is divinely inspired as it is paralleling other aspects of my life. Finances for example. My husband and I have been in Phase 1 (financially speaking) for 23 1/2 years. We have just moved into Phase 2. Just like in our diet program, it can be freaky when thinking about being in Phase 2 with so many choices, finding security in the defined structure of Phase 1. Well, for 23 1/2 years we have had the defined structure of not being able to spend anything on anything- just being in survival mode- clawing our way out of the Pit (see previous post). Now that we have money coming in regularly we have to make choices. And it is a little scary. We don’t want to be irresponsible (gain more than 2 pounds) but definitely have issues, some long overdue, that need to be taken care of (lose more than 2 pounds). So I can relate to this struggle. And because I have been working on it regarding my eating, I am hoping that I can apply the same principles to our financial diet. Phase 2 eating is truly the ideal way to eat. Phase 3 eating where no foods are off limits should ideally consist of Phase 2 foods and occasional treats of sugar and starches. My ultimate goal is moving from Phase 2 financials into Phase 3 financials where anything is fair game, but we spending with a Phase 2 financial mentality. Day by day. I am a work in progress. So glad my Teacher speaks my dialect perfectly.
My daughter moved quicker than the car in front of her as they were going to turn left at the stop light. She hit their hitch and slightly dented our car. No visible damage to their car, except the woman acted like the entire car was undriveable and called the police despite her husband’s more accommodating nature. My daughter was distraught as she was issued her first ticket. When she got home, as I hugged her I remembered the minor fender bender I was in and how I wished I could have turned back time and changed my behavior in that one second to avoid the situation totally. But not so. I pray that is something she will never forget and prevent a situation that could be much much worse.
That’s how mistakes are made, right? They happen and we wish we could turn back time. But it reminds me of a quote from the cartoon movie ROBOTS. When the family talks about inventing and Louis’ making a mistake with the peanut butter and jelly machine, they applaud his efforts as it explodes in his face. As he fails to understand why, they explain that we learn more from our mistakes than our successes. I have tried to incorporate this attitude. Instead of focusing on why the mistake happened, learn from it and move forward. Which is another quote from that same movie- “Keep Moving Forward.” Join me in the journey, won’t you?